Elder Care in the Nation’s Capital

Mitch McConnell’s latest spell doesn’t exactly reassure us about our leader’s fitness

Mitch McConnell had another spell Wednesday and it’s left the interwebz all in a tizzy.

Translation for all you Non-Southerners out there: Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) experienced an acute episode of marked paucity of speech and movement accompanied by mild right eye deviation and brief period of apparent ability to generate verbal appropriate responses to auditory stimuli, without loss of consciousness or the ability to maintain upright posture. Subsequently, various pundits, news organizations and social media influencers devoted considerable time through the day analyzing the event and discussion its implications for McConnell’s future in the Senate. As a secondary issue, the health status of Senators Feinstein (D-CA) and Fetterman (D-PA) and President Biden were also discussed.

Yeah, I like the first version better, too.

If ole’ Mitch were otherwise hale & hearty, this would be a blip on the radar and forgotten in a day or so. Sadly, it’s not. Mitch has fallen, and had another spell just like this during a press conference just a few weeks back. Even more concerning, watch it yourself, and pay particular attention to his staffer who quickly steps up to control the event. Dr. Sebastian Gorka’s X feed has a good video of it here, if you haven’t seen it already.

Here’s my first impression: she’s not shocked at all. She doesn’t hesitate to shield her boss when he shuts down. She’s cool, calm and collected, firm yet friendly, and even asks the press to “speak up”—like that’s the problem.

She’s seen this before, probably several times. She’s not flying by the seat of her pants—she’s too smooth, too polished, too confident. She’s gamed this out, at least in her head, enough to be the consummate professional while one of the most powerful men in DC goes off to la-la land on camera.

Did she see Mitch’s one previous public spell and realize she might see it again? I don’t know. It’s possible she’s just that good. However, I strongly suspect she’s seen this a time or two before in the Senator’s office, away from the public eye. Either way, I see nothing to criticize how she adroitly handled an awkward situation.

Now, what’s going on with Mitch? Obviously, I haven’t laid hands on to do a proper neuron exam, and I won’t. Presumably by now he’s been examined, labbed & scanned seven ways to Sunday. Will we find out tomorrow what’s going on, and just how it’s going to be fixed? Mmmmmm…no. Not likely, for the real diagnosis.

Why not? Several reasons: Doctor-patient confidentiality, inconclusive tests, and some tests take time to be done. Just as one example, long-term cardiac and/or brain wave monitoring may be needed, and that’s 24 hours or more, plus interpretation time, for each test. No, you can’t do both at once—Reasons.

Why those two? Because given what we all saw, the differential diagnosis—the laundry list of things that can cause it—is brain (hardware), heart (plumbing), and…everything else that you see in actual practice maybe 3 or 4 times in a doctor’s life. So, the smart money says hardware or plumbing. I can say with lots of confidence these spells were NOT psychiatric (involving the mental ‘software’ that rides on the brain hardware), and NOT a ton of other things. Best guess, just by watching? Some kind of absence seizure (likely) vs a small CVA (mini-stroke, less likely). Could be both, separately or together, can’t really say. Could be something else, causing one or both. Being retired, I can say that out loud, where a practicing physician might not. It’s not like my opinion matters, anyway. Take it for what it’s worth.

For you or me, our PawPaw or Uncle Joe, either would be bad but manageable. No more driving or even walking alone. Probably no living alone, even with an alert button around his neck. It’s time to sign those medical power of attorney forms, make the last & living wills, and seriously think about taking the credit card & checkbook. Keys? Gone. Unless there’s a big extended family, it’s time to start looking for a good (or horrible, depending on how he’s treated the family over the years) nursing home.

Just a bit of friendly advice: don’t be a total a*hole to the people who’ll pick your nursing home. Paybacks are hell, and what goes around really does come back around!

Anybody want to place a bet on any of this happening to ole’ Mitch? No, I didn’t think so. There are too many powerful people and too many deep pockets invested in keeping Mitch right where he is, as long as possible. He’s one of those powerful, himself. He’s been a prime mover and shaker in DC so long he doesn’t know how to live without it. To him and those of his ilk (roughly 96 or 97, just in the Senate) the power they wield is more addicting than any drug, ever. Just look at the low rate of turnover in Congress, and how hard incumbents fight to make the world safe for re-election. Most of them have to be either carried out or pried out, kicking and screaming. No; Mitch, like so many others, has passed his ‘use by’ date, but he won’t go gently into that good night.

He’s not alone. Feinstein is well into the creepy/ghoulish stage of her decline. Does anybody in California actually believe she still represents them? Fetterman? Please, he’s demonstrably dain-bramaged. As noble and inspiring as his recovery has been, the Senate is not the place for it. He’s a walking punchline to any number of jokes about Democrat candidates and Democrat voters.

And then there’s Brandon, the elephant in the room. Uncle Joe couldn’t be a greeter at Wal-Mart, but we still have to pretend he’s kinda the President. I’ve already mentioned that I think a call to DC Adult Protective Services is overdue, and I don’t mean that as a joke. Yes, he’s got all the perks, but the Presidency ages everyone who sits behind the Resolute desk, few of them gracefully. It’s sad to see any senior treated like that, even a life-long political hack like Biden. At 80, nearly 81, he should be in a rocker on a porch somewhere eating all the ice cream he wants. Of corse, right now the next option is Kamalamadingdong, so suck it up, Joe. Here, take another pill and try not to fall down or wander off (again).

You have to wonder: just who is running the show for these geriatric has-beens? Obviously, their staff—none of whom were elected by the people they represent. Doesn’t the Constitution guarantee something about representation, or something? Yes, I know, the Constitution is such a regressive old thing we shouldn’t even worry about it but I do, on occasion.

While we’re at it, let’s just go ahead and talk about Trump. He’s 77 and more fit than a lot of voters decades younger. His stride is stable, his voice is strong and his hands are steady. Trump’s physically fit for the office in a way Biden hasn’t been since before he was locked in his basement. If the 2020 election hadn’t been stolen, Trump would be on the downhill slope of his second term, and we wouldn’t be worrying about it at all. As it is, it’s still a concern, but it’s not a big one to me. Trump looks like he can handle the job, and since I’m pretty sure he’s our last, best chance to save the Republic, I’m willing to risk it. Hoping for it, actually.

But, that doesn’t address the immediate and long-term issues of the Mitch-bot short-circuits, Diane’s overworked staff necromancer or the Joe-droid’s battery problems, fried memory circuits and blown speaker. It needs to be recycled, or at least sent to the Old Droids Home (we don’t say ‘junkyard’ or ‘scrap heap’ around them, shush!) because it’s too unreliable to be useful anymore. And who’s the joker who keeps reconnecting his Sniff-O-Meter?

The solution(s) are easy in theory, hard to put into practice. Honorable public servants would resign for the good of the country, immediately. Yeah, I can’t see that happening with Mitch, Diane or Joe. Amendment 25 is there for Joe, but a) Kamalamadingdong and b) too few Republicans with spines and too many Uniparty shills.

State-level recalls for every elected office is something I suggested in Beyond MAGA. Hopefully Kentucky will start working on this now that their need is so obvious. Each State will have to work this out for themselves, as the Founders intended, but the citizens or their elected representatives need a way to tell out-of-date or out-of-control Congresscum to come home.

Term limits, of course, are an absolute necessity, and will have to be forced on the current batch. They’ll never do it voluntarily, and the system is so broken and twisted in favor of long-term Congresscum that the seniority system needs to be overhauled at the same time as term limits take effect. This is just hard, not impossible, no matter how many lobbyists tell their bought-and-paid-for Congresscum to say otherwise.

No, I’m not terribly fond of Congress as a whole. How could you tell?

Finally, how about an age cap? Many States already have this for some elected offices. Why not let each State expand this to their Congressional delegation, or even better (and probably the better legal way to do it) amend the Constitution? It’s a long process, deliberately so, but if we can survive the next few years (still highly in doubt, for Reasons I’m not going to go near right now), a term limit/age limit amendment deserves some serious consideration.

For tomorrow, and next month when Congress returns to Mordor on the Potomac, I suppose we’ll just have to soldier on and pray for a miracle. Maybe one like Tunguska, 1908? If only we could get that lucky….

Oh well, we can always hope for a Martian invasion. I call dibs on the Giant Robot!

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